Welcome to our celebration of Shark Week at Suvudu! Inspired by the Discovery Channel’s annual week of sharktastic programs, we at Suvudu will be covering not only sharks, but all sorts of other dangerous aquatic creatures. From as close as the nearest beach to as far as the banks of an alien shore, if it has a nasty bite, a bad attitude and calls the ocean home, then you’ll find it here at Shark Week at Suvudu.
The Star Wars universe holds a lot of terrors: Sith warriors, trash compactor monsters and the Sarlacc to name a few. While there are indeed sharks to be found in the myriad worlds of known space, why settle for an earthly horror when there are so many other gruesome creatures just beneath the surface of the waves? Let’s take a look at some of them.
Description: Imagine a cross between a spiny lobster and a praying mantis. Now give it an overdose of growth hormones and all the subtlety of an out of control bulldozer loaded with jet fuel. The acklay is worse.
Where you’ll find it: the oceans of Vendaxa and gladiatorial arenas around the bad side of the universe.
Fear Factor: 9/10. It’s amphibious. Imagine you’re out fishing on a tiny sailboat when an acklay suddenly decides you’re the catch of the day. You high tail it to shore only to see the thing waiting for you on the pier. It’s like if Jaws made house calls. (Huh? He does?)
Description: It’s a pigmy flying whale.
Where you’ll find it: in the oceans and skies of Kamina and Naboo.
Fear Factor: 0/10. Anything that my little sister would call “cute” doesn’t get a fear factor rating. Doubly so for any creature that I can conceive encountering between two slices of toasted bread covered in mayonnaise. How’d Flipper get on this list anyway?
Colo Claw Fish
Description: It’s like a Tyrannosaurus Rex and a Moray Eel shared a long, sweaty night at a motel just off the interstate exit, and this is their baby. And it has a paralyzing shriek.
Where you’ll find it: Naboo, of course. How could one world produce both Jar Jar Binks and this piping hot slice of nightmare fuel?
Fear Factor: 10/10. You know that yogurt with the fruit on the bottom? This is like that yogurt, except instead of fruit there’s screaming disembodied orphan souls, and the yogurt is made of pure, organic, cultured repto-fish hatred.
Description: It’s a giant squid, but has the furrowed forehead of your grandpa when he does the Word Jumble in the Thrifty Nickel.
Where you’ll find it: Planet Dac.
Fear Factor: 6/10. It’s a giant squid with eerily sentient eyes so that’s worth at least a 5/10, but given that you’ll find it in a place called “The Devil’s Crevasse” (snicker…) I’m giving it an extra +1.
Description: Well, it’s kind of a giant three-headed centipede chicken thing. How much trouble can it give you? A whole clucking lot. Ask the Geonosians. These monsters prey upon their hives.
Where you’ll find it: Geonosis, a planet best described as a suburb of Hell itself.
Fear Factor: 7/10. Anything that can clean its claws with one head, eat you with another and still have a head left over to watch for its next victim deserves a little respect. Cock-a-doodle-doom!
Description: A sea-slug with half the charm. Surprisingly resilient due to its hide, which is thick enough to block blaster bolts.
Where you’ll find it: Rodia.
Fear Factor: 4/10. What did you call that thing and why is it smiling at me???
Opee Sea Killer
Description: A cross between a coelacanth and an angler fish. A center of pure predatory hunger surrounded by armored plates.
Where you’ll find it: Naboo, of course.
Fear Factor: 9/10. There’s a hole in the bottom of the sea…there’s a hole in the bottom of the sea…there’s a hole…there’s a hole…there’s a hole in the bottom of…..AAAUGHHHHH WHERE ARE MY LEGS
Description: It’s a giant eel with claws and the head of a dragon, and grows big enough to eat a starship in a single bite. Probably the only monster in this list big enough to have its own ZIP Code.
Where you’ll find it: Kamino, the galaxy’s one-stop shop for genetic horrors.
Fear Factor: 10/10. The scariest thing about the Saberjowl is that it could eat all of the other monsters on this list and still have room for a Z-95 Headhunter or two.
Sando Aqua Monster
Description: A giant cat-gator-otter. Catogger. Kittygator. Alli-Cat…something. I’m confused.
Where you’ll find it: Naboo, which I’m starting to believe is the Australia of the Star Wars universe.
Fear Factor: 5/10. Sure, it’s vicious, but I kind of want to throw it clams to crack open on its belly. And Sando Aqua Monster sounds like a brand of shampoo.
Description: A giant snake with a stinger in its tail. Yes. Just the thing snakes needed: a stinger. New and improved snake.
Where you’ll find it: Tralus, one of the worlds in the Corelian system.
Fear Factor: 7/10. It’s frightening, but compared to some of the other monsters on this list, Mr. Stingy seems a little plain.